it's five o'clock－雪地游鱼

It's five o'clock
and I walk through the empty streets
Thoughts fill my head
but then still
no one speaks to me
My mind takes me back
to the years that have passed me by

-aphrodite's child-

无意发现的一首歌。一个不小心就听了一整个午后的那一首歌。一个不留心就凭着听力去搜寻有关那首歌的讯息。直到三天后，连续第二个凌晨五点就出门的日子后，才依稀联想起其中的巧合。

凌晨五点的早上。有多少个日子不曾再那样兴奋睁开眼睛了？就因为想不起上一次是为了什么而早起，只好继续老实记录这两天的目的。

第一天，等着踏上那段长达千多里的车程。想想是很难得的一次机会。在家乡，出门不离车，没车就哪里也不能去。可每每车上的时光都是那么地短暂。It's just different from here. I'm used to travel by bus for those few hundred miles distance where at hometown there is always using air plane to reach such distance's destination. I still remember that once I plan to get my driving license and going to explore all around Sabah. But what happen next? It's so sorry that i'm still the freaky timid person who never try to learn from failure. What I lack of on the time? Passion? Enthusiasm towards life? I don't know why on earth that when I stay beside my family and I'll change to such a person. It's terrible! I dont dare to do this and do that. Even think also need try hard to let it be let it fly to far far away kingdom. Could I change the situation? Sure~ It's only the matter of the first step. But few years passing nothing change except the distance non stop growing until infinity... Well, I dont meant to talk about it but just cant stop complaining. Is it mean I really care about it? Perhapes.But I'm not from western. I wont directly shout out loud I hate it or whatever. Yaya..nothing change and all the same.

Sometime it's hurt. Cant help to feeling sad. And when I cant stand the feeling, I start runaway. Like now at here. Do I have chance to watch sunrise at hometown. The answer is sure, but for me i'll choose to sleep like a pig. Different country different interpretation. Something call impression have interrupt our mind. Something due to subconcious was controling our action. I may jot down the whole list to improve the things that I'm not satisfy with but I still cant let myself be such flexible as what I imagine while life goes on....

就像错过的海边美丽日出。我觉得，真的没关系。哪一个早上，那一通短讯，赤脚踏着的沙滩，用眼睛记录的天空渐变，还有清晨的海风。这样就够了。